Help will this get me into a good college?

Ok I sell stolen tacos and food stamps from the back of my stolen car to make me some profit and to feed my small family of 20 I am not positive if this will work but I need to get into a great college my gpa is a 1.5 I am in the 12 grade do you guys think I have a chance to go to Harvard? O gollly me I can't wait to get in there. Me and my freind ,J, are gonna pop lock and drop it at a mens club to get some extra cash. Any suggestions?